Most of us have gotten so used to doing this we don't even realize it. It takes such control not to say anything negative about others but also to really think about our words so that we don't say something that seems innocuous or not negative, but for that individual will either cause harm or hurt them if they hear it. Even when we say things that we think others "need" to hear or will "help" them - Maybe its coming from a good place, but that doesn't mean it will be perceived positively. It's not enough to say it's not my fault, I didn't mean to hurt them. But if you did it's your responsibility to make them whole again and be aware of what the problem was.